Making us all proud to be Aussies

In characteristic style, Tony Abbott has embarrassed us all again by opening his mouth on the subject of Scottish independence, which is being put to a referendum next month. Speaking in an interview with The Times, he began by saying:

What the Scots do is a matter for the Scots and not for a moment do I presume to tell Scottish voters which way they should vote.

He then proceeded to do just that.

I think that the people who would like to see the break-up of the United Kingdom are not the friends of justice, the friends of freedom, and the countries that would cheer at the prospect… are not the countries whose company one would like to keep.

Scotland’s first minister Alex Salmond responded by saying that Abbott’s comments were “foolish, hypocritical and offensive”, adding for good measure that the Australian prime minister was “notoriously gaffe-prone” and he had “put his foot right in it” with his comments.

A spokesman for Mr Salmond referred to Abbott’s “bewildering comments”, and added:

Many Australians…will look on in bafflement at these remarks.

Well, Mr Spokesman, I’m afraid that I have to take issue with you there. Australians won’t hear this news with bafflement at all. This is just what we’ve come to expect from Mister A. The only confusion we feel over Tony Abbott is whether he’s a moron, a dickhead, or both.

In a more insightful article, the New Matilda writes:

The world might just have found its new George W. Bush. Albeit without the muscle of the US. Or the nuclear weapons. Or the economy. Or the international recognition. Or anything like the power. But the swagger and the international derision… well, it’s there in spades. Of course, if Abbott’s influence on the Scottish population mirrors that of his influence in Australia, his opposition to secession is likely to strengthen the yes vote.

Comments to that article include the following undeniable truths:

Tony Abbot is soooo stupid its amazing. If George W.Bush and Sarah Palin where to either have a a kid who grew up or were to morph into one … you’d have Tony Abbott.”

“Wow! Makes George W look like an intellect to be feared. What a thorough douche bag.”

“Abbott really is an A-grade tool.

Thank goodness Sir Les has once again come to salvage our national reputation, in a spoof presented as an apology from the Australian High Commission in London. One can only hope that the real apology comes as quickly as this one.